The Wanderlust: And So It Begins... the chocolate made me do it!

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.” – Henry David Thoreau

 

When I was in 11^th grade English lit, I became introduced to the penned words of a literary mastermind. A man who understood the value of nature, equality, and experience. His writings were monumental in the movement of Transcendentalism. I was utterly captivated by this philosophy. At 16 years old, I was being told to seize merely living and begin to ‘Be’. I thought to myself, I’m going to do it. I am going to live the best life, travel the world, seize the moment and just “BE.” It’s seems my 16-year-old self did not really understand what that meant.

As each day passes I find I have learned more about this concept, the idea of experiencing life through my own personal perspective and finding the meaning in the experiences. I have learned to live deliberately and recognize the value in every serendipitous moment.  

Cut to –April 2018 (a month that seems to remind me of the things I have missed out on in life) I’m sitting there going through some papers in the safe and I come across my passport, only to open it up with sheer disappointment. Expired last year, April 2017. This can’t be right, I had my passport for over ten years and not a single stamp! Seriously!! How disappointing and a little sad to be frank. How is it that in 10 years’ time, I had not traveled the world like my 16-year-old self-had envisioned.  But it was okay right? Life happened. WAIT A MINUTE! What happened to that whole idea of not living life but BE-ing life?!? This was not acceptable; I had a list of excuses as to why I had not experienced the world, but the truth is, they were all crap. 

I’m a single woman, I can’t travel alone, I have no-one to go with me, it’s too expensive, I don’t have the time, I’ll go when I’m older, etc etc etc.  The list could go on for days, but the reality is they were just excuses that stemmed out of fear, but what was I so afraid of?!

I would sit and listen to my niece talk about her cool experiences of traveling through Europe, and I would watch my sister post pictures of Ireland, Mexico, Cuba. And I would sit here and say wow that looks cool, I want to travel one day too. One day?!? What was I waiting for?

I remember sitting at work on a Saturday morning in the ICU and we had a string of evaluations come through. 3 of my evaluations were under the age of 40 all with massive strokes. Now grant it, working in a hospital, I am predisposed to seeing a lot of worst case scenarios and the population count is not entirely reflective of the general population, but it got to me… what if I woke up one day in a hospital bed before the age of 40 without the physical capacity to take care of myself, would I have regrets, would my 16 year-old self be disappointed that I never experienced the adventures this world has to offer? It got me thinking, NO MORE EXCUSES, I am not getting any younger and there is a world full of awesome amazing adventures out there just waiting for me.  

I had been contemplating some travel for a while but still was a bit nervous to pull the trigger and then it was as if the universe just knew the potential existed that I would talk myself out of it, it gave me a sign… by way of chocolate. I opened my little piece of Dove chocolate (dark sea salt and caramel 😊 yum) and the inspiration message on the foil said, “Book the flight”. And so, I did! I mean the chocolate told me to do it, so I had to right? 

I booked my first trip to the Dominican Republic, I mean can we say paradise! I am beyond excited and Looking forward to spending some time enjoying the sun, sand and sangria!  The cool thing is, one of my best buds who I have not seen in over a year decided to book a flight as well. I have a feeling the shenanigans will be endless, and I anticipate some great stories to share as the travels unfold.

I started this blog to record my reflections and adventures… Thoreau once wrote "How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live."

Touché’

So I booked some more.

This next year is sure to be filled with some once in a lifetime experiences and I am looking forward to  having something more to sit down and write about. I will be sharing posts, pictures, stories, and videos of my travels. I hope you look forward to coming along for the adventures… from some local views, hometown favorites, the mountains, the beaches, sand, and snow… I will be spending time over the next year traveling to various places from the equator to the Arctic circle and anywhere in between. It’s time to make my 16-year-old self-proud!

“Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself. So live the life you imagined” -Thoreau

Special thanks to my Munchkin whose worldly travels have always been a source of inspiration and jealousy for me.

To my 18-year-old self…

A few years ago, I came across a cool panoramic photo that was taken my freshman year of college.  It was a pre-game of my teammates and I lined up down the 3^rd baseline in front of our dugout. I had posted it on FB and tagged a few of my teammates.  Yesterday, it came up in my memories feed (thanks FB) as well as on one of my friend’s pages.  As I sat there looking at the photo, an influx of thoughts came to my mind.  

First and foremost, THAT HAIR! What kind of friends did I have that would encourage that haircut. 😊 After the initial shock of that, I started thinking about that group of friends… man what a crew. From study hall hours, to Thursday nights’ out… hours upon hours of time spent analyzing music lyrics, hanging out, finding our way. They were the perfect group of people to come into my life at that time and I often think back to those days with such fond memories. I wonder what life would be like for me had I never met that crew. And I wonder who would play them in my coming of age movie?!? HA just kidding. 

I look at that photograph, and I think about how different things were back then. I look down that line at each individual and I wonder how they are and where life has taken them. It’s crazy how many memories come to mind when I look at this image. Thanks to social media, I still get to follow some of their stories, see where their roads have led, and I can’t help but smile at the lives they have created for themselves. But man, how time has changed things.

There has been a lot of growing up since this picture was taken. Somehow, we managed to become adults (over-rated if you ask me). The days of 5 am work outs, two-a-days, classes, socializing and 2 am trips to the diner for turkey soup got replaced with real life ‘adulting.’ I like to think all the former was great preparation for the latter! 

Growing up being involved in sports opened many doors for me and I met some truly awesome people along the way, but there will always be something incredibly special about this group. I am very fortunate for the time (however brief) that I was a part of this line up.  The memories that were made and the influence that time had over my life was invaluable.  One of my biggest regrets looking back was walking away when I did because I am sure there would have been a lot more incredible memories with this crew. 

There is that cliché idea of looking back, you know the ‘if you could tell your 18-year-old self one thing, what would it be…’ looking at this picture I think my advice to my 18-year-old self would be to cherish it, every moment of it-the good, the not so good, everything.  Life takes you in different directions, it changes you, and it does not slow down. So, look around, smell the fresh cut grass, hang on to the moments and the memories… oh AND DON’T EVER CUT YOUR HAIR LIKE THAT AGAIN!

Make excuses or make a change

Side note today on blogging: I blog because I read blogs and posts that inspire me. I blog because it helps me reflect on my life. I blog because maybe just maybe, someone out there may be able to relate and spark their own reflection. Okay, here we go.

I sat down at the computer and began to read through a blog post that I follow. Today’s post was about 11 rules to follow to change your life. It was a great read and I highly recommend checking it out! One portion of the post talked about knowing what’s in your control and having no excuse for not doing what is in your control. The post goes on to quote the great Arthur Ashe… and with Wimbledon underway, what better inspiration– “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” The post clearly emphasizes the truth in that ‘this requires consistent, every day action. 

This requires patience. This requires putting in the work.’

All my life I have been an active person. Spent my childhood on the athletic fields, played 3 varsity sports in high school, had a brief stent as a college athlete, and then took on coaching at the showcase and collegiate levels. Being active was just a way of life for me. It was my outlet, my stress relief, my comfort, and my joy. During some of life’s low points, I could always throw on some running shoes, pick up a bat, or just lift some weights to clear my head. So, what do you do when you lose those options?

In the spring on 2016 I had an unfortunate incident that left me with a tiny twinge of pain in my low back, no big deal. As an athlete, I had had my fair share of injuries (knees, shoulder, wrist, head, etc). This was minor - a little bit of ice and heat and I’d be good to go in a few days. After a few months, the pain became unbearable. I couldn’t drive to work without tears, I couldn’t get through the shift without spending all my breaks laying flat on the floor, and in the final few days leading up to surgery, I could not walk, sit, or move without someone’s help. (it’s crazy how close you become when someone else must shave your legs, physically dress you in the morning, and carry you in to the surgery center).  Surgery went well initially, but then I developed some complications. I can remember sitting in my neurosurgeon’s office and hearing the words, “you may want to think about the longevity of doing what you do.”  Now, if anyone knows me you know I absolutely LOVE what I do. It is truly my passion and my livelihood, and I have spent the better part of my adult life getting into this career. That conversation was a sucker-punch to the gut.

I spent the better portion of the next few months depressed and feeling sorry for myself. Once I finally started feeling better and my restrictions were lifted, I was so fearful that I did nothing. Now fortunately for me, I have always been blessed with good genetics and an incredible metabolism (thanks mom and dad). Unfortunately, the fear and depression consumed me and next thing I know I’m stepping on a scale 26lbs heavier then I had ever been. I was tired all the time. And I felt more stressed than I had felt in a long time. At that point, I needed to make some changes. I wanted my life back, I wanted to feel good again, and I wanted to prove to myself that I could.  It hasn’t been easy. AT ALL! I have had to wake up each day making a conscious choice to do something, anything… anything was better than what I had been doing.

I once read that “boys need to play good to feel good and girls need to feel good to play good”, so what better way to make yourself feel good then to look good! I started by rewarding myself for making the choice to change. I went out and bought new work out clothes because well let’s be real the clothes make a difference. And I am a firm believer in the ice cream for breakfast philosophy... meaning you don't have to wait until you finish your dinner to get your dessert, you can reward yourself first and as long as you keep yourself accountable. I bought the clothes so I needed to be accountable for the work outs. And to help myself be successful, I would lay out my work out clothes, my water, my vitamin and my fruit the night before with the hopes that at the very least the sight would make me feel guilty if I didn’t work out.

Once I made the choice to do something, it seemed the universe supported me. My friends were posting videos of themselves following their “no excuses” rules. The blogs that would come up would somehow give me inspiration. One thing led to another and I started seeing small victories. A few pounds lighter, a bit more energy, a little more distance… then others were noticing the changes and supporting my efforts.  The timing couldn’t have been better as I was able to use work-outs to get me through the stressful process of taking on my neuro boards (I’m a glutton for punishment!).  I was able to increase my distance, started to lift again, and recently I have spent time on campus working out at the track and running the stadium steps just like the ‘good ole days?!??’ I am finally starting to feel like myself again.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy and some days are tough. But that’s okay. You can’t beat yourself up over a bad day. You just do your best to control what is within your control.  I have started working out regularly, eating healthier, and spending more time doing what feels good. The one thing I have learned - it’s about balance, consistency, and choices.

I have a not-so-small addiction to chocolate (dark to be specific) and I enjoy a nice glass of red wine... and that's okay! Taking care of yourself means feeling good about feeling good. Enjoying the things that make you happy, but with all things... in moderation. I also use those pleasures as motivation to go a little further (Balance).

I needed to be consistent. I ordered myself a nice motivational calendar and i make sure that each day is marked off with a marker to give me a visual of my daily workouts, it doesn't have to be a big thing, but it has to be something (Consistency).

My sister always told me that you can make all the excuses you want to, or you can stop making excuses and start making a change, either way it’s all a choice that you have the conscious ability to make. If you don’t like your life- you change it (Choices)!

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”

8-minute miles, pre-surgery weight, awesome tan lines, and enough energy to take on the day. Life is good when you feel great!

Check out the blog that inspired me today: https://medium.com/the-mission/these-11-rules-will-change-your-life-forever-c2e4af244087